Got a phone call from Adam, one morning.
"Do you know you're in the papers today?" he asked
"You joking, you taking the mick"
He said
"Nope"
So I asked which papers. He went to find out, and then he phoned me back.
'scottish Sunday mail',
I went to have a look, couldn't find it. I phoned Adam again, so he went to buy and have a look.
He phoned me and told me page 43, so I went to the supermarket. I met my friend Sandy at the door, and I was talking to him, when suddenly he said,
"Do you know, some guy in a 4 wheel drive has just taken your photo".
"Brilliant, I can see it now, 'Zena seen soliciting outside the local supermarket on a Sabbath day', Yipe! I am going to chucked out of Fort William soon. I can see them all marching outside my door soon, surprised I haven't been burnt on the stake yet, give it time".
andy and myself went in to find the papers, and at last, we found it.
a bit disappointed. My biggest secret out, but they got the age wrong, I am sure they did, don't know where they got that number.
id, I was supposed to have met someone in a local hotel, eh!!! Which one was that? I don't know. I can hear the gossip now,
I told you she was a hooker, selling herself in hotels'. Well, amongst all the rest of what I been doing, just wish I know where all the money is going.
not visited any local hotel for almost a year. Business is slacking!!!!!!!! JOKE!!!!!
have to admit, some comments sound funny, you got to have a sense of humour. My friend Gibby, who stays in Glasgow, was in fits laughing. One quote written was
really very, very dirty'.
he biggest thing I was peeved off, they didn't show my photo as the big one. Don't ask me who the heck this girl was, I haven't a clue. Could they not have picked someone a bit better, she wasn't my sort at all. I have never worn that gear, not my style at all. UGH!!!
n't mind any of the rest, but that picture was not at all similar to me. This could have ruined my business.
trying to entice customers not scare them.
o I phoned the papers the next day to find out. The girl told me, that she never said anything about a hotel. The publisher added that bit on. I asked who the heck this girl was. She told me that she was picked out from one of their files.
not just have used one of my photos".
old me that was meant to happen, but the publisher decided otherwise.
he sounded all right. The story didn't bother me too much.
who had sent a text message to me, yipe!
phew,
F*** here we go".
ext was this and that but the last text said
story sums you right up?.
Did you not like it then, prude".
mment returned.
my sister was alive to read it. She would have found it amusing, since she been in the papers more than me.
was talking to a friend in Inverness, nice guy, but strange. Mentioning I might visit him some time, and he text,
the paparazzi at me door, forget it".
t back,
e your a regular customer you get a discount',
I text,
s it, how much percentage do I give you',
, you want to be the customer or my pimp'.
uld advise, you won't make much being pimp, profits is not good this year'.
d on..... but funny!!!
hat can I say, fame at last, still waiting for the fortune. 
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