Kissogram & Stripogram - Hill Walker & Photographer

Right you all are not going to believe this.

I really do bloody well pick them.

You will notice on one diary, last time I had sex was 5 years ago, which this was with a guy called Madwak (can’t say real name).

I met him just before I started going self employed by myself, nice guy, good looking but not completely sure whether we got along or not.  He has just split from his wife roughly 6 months ago. (Just remembered, only 2 guys in my whole life who has bought me flowers and he was one). Thanks

We only lasted for 2 days, 5 years ago, as he asked if I could only do first show and miss out tricks, which is on the second show.  I said not at moment as I have debt to pay, and studying to pay.

We decided not to carry on, he lived too far away, and he admitted he was confused and still upset splitting with wife.  I still cared and wished him all the best.

I said  "fine, we just keep friends then, keep in contact and let me know how you are doing".

He went for a holiday and asked few weeks later, about getting back.  But I decided I couldn’t because it is usually me who gets hurt, not him.  If I was meant to be for him, he wouldn’t have split.

So we kept in touch odd time, I text him if any news gossip, once, twice a year, checking he's still alive.  But I did notice, he only contacted me if he had no one.

Anyway, to be honest, involved in a male, too complicated, and he would have a lot to put up with. This guy is good looking, and it’s a bit like an expensive picture, where is it going to fit in your house. He was nice, but it didn't take him long to jump in bed with another, obviously he wasn't that keen eh!!!

Don’t think there's any room, especially in the bed, where Moss and Willow would not be amused.

I text him about the assault last week, and text back asking, told him what happened and that was that.  I had a job in Fort William on Sunday, and when I got back into car I noticed a missed called from Madwak 

He phoned back, and this is the conversation,

“Last time I spoke to you, I was not in a relationship, now I am, and my partner does not want me to talk to an ex”

I said,

“Fine as long as you are happy”,

“He said

“Yes, hoping to get married and she has a child”

I said,

“Oh that’s nice, your child”.

He said,

“No!”.

I thought of S** I have put my foot in now,

“Oh, well, where is she from”,

Me thinking Edinburgh, Glasgow, Inverness

“She is from Poland”.

“Yes, well, never mind”, I thought

“That’s fine all the best, bye”.

I text after,

“I am in fits, talk about insecure and possessive, I have deleted all contact, bye”

An hour later, I noticed a missed call from him, then I noticed a text from him. (Also missed a called from another number which I don't recognize, until received a text next day).

Now his new girlfriend is Agnes, when in Britain, common name as Agnes, found out.

It read,

‘Zena, Agnes would like to talk to you. Can you please’.

I thought,

“Why the heck would I want to speak to his girlfriend, just been told not to phone”

so I ignored, bugger that for a laugh.

No more that night.

Get ready for this, I got a text from his Girlfriend, next morning, Madwak, must be away for work.

This was the text, you will understand what it is trying to say. (Name changed) (It’s written exact way it was sent).

‘Hi zena, this is Agnes, Madwak partner.  Probaly he menthioned you something about me tonight, but I really appreciate if you have a good contact with me, cos I don’t want to scare you.  I really appreciate what you do, because I work in the same “work” as you: I work as escort around 1 year and Madwak came to see me like 6 months ago.  From that moment I came verey close to him to that moment I decided to bring my son from Poland to leave with us also.  To show that I don’t lie you can see my profie on adult work website, Edinburgh, I’m Gorgeous Diana.  The point of his call to you tonight ws that he’s got some relationships like with you from the past, but this relationship is still on, but when I have somebody who I knew before I met him, he is very subspecies. Anyway, I am writing to you , because I am. Very honest person and don’t get me wrong. But I fully understand what you do’.

I bloody well hit the roof, I text back

‘What I do is nothing at all like escort’.

As we all know, unless you are top model in London, with degree of law, economics, as business men need escort with meetings, an escort, is a politer word for *****r. Because the agency will not sell that on the phone as it’s illegal, it done on the back hand.

If you all disagree, trust me I know, as before I went self employed an agency tried to get me into it.  I asked, does that include sex, he said

“Well, that is what they are paying for”

I said,

“Nah, no thanks, bye”, decided to go solo.  I have spoke to a hotel in highlands, where he told me that he’s sick of these kissogram coming and charging for sex.  I told him, I do not do that as I am a kissogram/stripogram not a ********. (whatever you all want to call it)

Text Madwak,

‘How dare you accuse my work as the same as escort, you f hypocrite, you complained about my job.  Escort with a child, if she couldn’t afford one, why have one, your lucky I don’t know your address, a legal letter through your door, where’s social workers eh!’.

I really can’t believe it, I am shocked, 1130 I received another text from his girlfriend,

‘But I have to decide before I go more serious and deeper with him and my son, that your relationship is gone.  If you had wirh him for rthe last 6months, like meeting or something like that le me know pls, cos 1. gonna to take a very important decision in my life not only for me, but especially for my son.  I reall appreciate your honest, cost I know what does it mean.  Thanks and regards Agnes’.

I’m keeping out, why the f is she asking me, ask her partner.  Big decisions, my backside, the word meal ticket comes into mind.  Let’s look at the picture, Madwak, has just bought a house, has a car from the company he works, and good income, yes, I can just see how much of a big decision that is for you. Where are you at this moment!

"Yes dear, we believe you"

But who am I to judge.  Complete bull, bull.bull, bull.  

Maybe Madwak thinks he’s Richard Gere!

I am still fuming,

I text Madwak, ‘Tell your girlfriend to stop texting’, I am really not interested

I have deleted all his address, hotmail, his mobile number easy to remember, try scrubbing that out.

Why is she asking me?

Why ask me, she is not dating me, yeah, we're having a big affair, considering he stays 110 miles away.Yeah! books me every week!!!

I keep in touch with a few ex’s especially Jim Kennedy, because I looked after his 2 kids whilst staying in Glasgow.  I told his Daughter Lindsay and Jim about it.  I told him, I wouldn’t have lasted maybe too good looking, sort of don’t fit.  I put my foot in it, Jim said,

“What are you trying to say, I’m ugly, that’s why you lasted long”,

I  replied,

“I stayed that long because your kids”

A friend today told me I should have said,

“Aye, he books me every week, only just up last week”,

Told Lindsay, and she said, talk about adding fuel to the fire.

Tell me what to say about that eh!!!  What can I say?  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about it.  I do pick them, maybe that will teach me not to keep in touch with ex's.

Somebody please email me at zena@zexerotic.co.uk, tell me what have I missed.

I am cursed, I blame my ex’s mother, she was a witch, last time I saw her.

Well, I suppose at least in the end of this story, explains why I am always skint!

Last time I had sex was 5 years ago, just before I started my business.

I knew I was doing something wrong!!!!!!

Just received this is my email:

email from: name:  A** ****** (something foreign, guess her name)  **(check end name)

Dear Ma/Joe Cough!! 
Other than stating the obvious
YOUR PAYING FOR A DIFFERENT SORT OF SERVICE. MINE, KEEP HANDS TO THEMSELF, NONE TOUCHING, NOT EXACTLY ONE TO ONE, MOSTLY SHOW IN CROWDS.  ALL CUSTOMERS KEEP A LINE APART, I DO NOT ACCOMPANY ANYBODY ANYWHERE, ANY PLACE.  I DO NOT DATE OR ANY OTHER INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH CUSTOMERS, AND THE OTHER OBVIOUS PART.  ONLY ONE 5 YEARS AGO!!!!   LOOK WHERE THAT GOT ME.
ESCORT GOES TO POSH HOTELS, MEAL AND DESSERT END UP AS AFTERS.  I END UP IN PUB FULL OR MOSTLY FULL OF DRUNKS!!!!
DON'T THINK I HAVE A PROFILE EXACTLY, NOBODY KNOWS MY SIZE, AGE, AND DON'T HAVE PI/AGENCY. Whoops!
Yours Mary

I AM STILL LAUGHING, COMPLETELY BIZZARRE!!!!