Kissogram & Stripogram - Hill Walker & Photographer

How have you all been doing, me usual, study, dogs, bed!!

I thought of giving you all the latest amusing stories!

My latest story was actually in Fort William. I was doing a show, and noticed everyone going in and out of the office. The guy who was getting married was so hyper and wouldn’t calm down, and I could see if he didn’t, I can disaster happening.

He kept saying to me.

“Come on Zena, thought you were all for fun”,

The guy, who mentioned me to his friends at this party, disappeared. I was left thereby myself, brilliant. The guy getting married jumped on me whilst sitting on the chair. The chair flew back, and I hit my head on this iron bar.

I covered my face, took in a deep breath, and started to get up, but when I took my hands off, blood was pouring everywhere.I went into the office for a plaster, and there they all were, sniffing white powder.

This was 8pm I left , but 9pm it didn’t stop bleeding, so I went down to the hospital. I had to get stitches on my forehead, and you can still see the scar, bloody brilliant.

Next story! If I am on my bad week, doing a kissogram, I cut the string of the tampax. I had to do a show in Inverness, full strip. So there I was doing the show, but when I got back into the car, guess what I forgot to do.

Yipe! I forgot to cut the string and there I was parading about with no clothes, with a string hanging. I drove back in full embarrassment, completely mortified!

I done a show in Inverness. The guy working there was serving in the bar, the staff is lovely. (The name will come to me later on, it’s advertised on web).Whilst playing about with the vibrator, I noticed red on it.

S***! Thought I had started periods. Went to the bar, and asked him to look for tampax on bag, and explained why. But whilst he was looking, I noticed the red whipped off easily, and then noticed it was the lipstick from my mouth. The bar man ended up in fits. Still mortified!!!

But there was a time, and this again was in Fort William! I have started periods right in the middle of a show, boy it’s not pleasant. I have done a full show with a tampax on, sometimes you sweat, hoping tampax isin’t going to fly out, you never know, I could get paid extra for it.

One time, I had to stay in a lodging at this party, only for a few hours sleep, as it didn’t finish until 5am, they booked me for full night. You all may ask why tampx, and why am I not on contraception which would obviously save the tampax problem. But yet again, don’t need contraception, been clear from sex for almost 4 years not, not bad eh!!!

But main reason, ask my doctor! Until we all find out what the problem is, I am stuck.

But at this time, 4 years ago, we did try the coil to see if it solved the problem, but it make a mess of my skin, so I had to come off it.

I had quick wash, got my clothes and went to car, a few guys saw me face to face.

But when I looked in the car mirror, overnight my whole face was full of whitehead spots everywhere, bit massive blisters all over my chest and face. It’s like night time look lovely but by day light I look like a monster. Did I not tell you all, I am a vampire? Or maybe a witch! I better not say that living here I am sure they still are still burning people. The skin problem disappeared when the hormones got back to normal. I looked bloody awful. I freaked out when I saw it myself.

I had a few massive blister on my chest few years ago, but somehow it all cleared up after coil, it took a long time, but it eventually cleared after a year.

Worse one so far! I had to travel far north. The guy who organised the Beauly show, gave me a present which was the pole, and I still got it. It was a large hall, and thought of trying the pole out. So mentioned this to the guy and they tried to put it up. I was only going to use it if necessary.

The guy who I was doing a show for, would not stay on the seat, became a complete arsehole, showing off, grabbing my chest. I thought F** this! I decided to just finish the last song on the pole, so I went up on the stage, moved about, and then swung around. The pole went flying and so did I, I was mortified. Got up off floor finish the last few seconds, but he was still being an arsehole and I stopped. I got paid, but the dick came out to the car harassing me in the car.

I was glad of leaving. I ended up in hospital with a large ankle. I had to drive from Kinlochbervie back to Fort William with a swollen ankle.

I had fallen off a few customers, sometimes both has fallen off, I have accidently caught someone with my shoes on face.

Tell you all it’s a risky business!!!!!