This happened in September again, been the worse month, a week after the police.
Need to tell the full story, so everyone gets the picture.
Few years ago, a neighbour moved in, nice person, no problem fine. Until she starting knocking on my door and complaining about finding shit in her garden. It started becoming regular, now, I hardly let me dogs out in the garden unless I am present because they could easily walk onto the road.
She put a note through the door asking me to pick it up, I went to have a look, and I thought,
“You F*** thick B******”.
Eight years of picking up your own dogs shit, you can recognize it. All animals have their own shape of shit. How do I know this! Well, a friend is interested in nature, and shows me when we went for country walks. You can also tell the difference between small dogs shit and large dogs. Not that I, myself go around examining shit or anything!
The shit was about 5 to 6 inches long, thin and dark, and only ¼ of an inch wide. If has a dog, especially a collie dog, you would know that is not shaped as a dogs shit.
So I put both on her steps and wrote this letter,
“Can you not tell the difference between cats shit and dogs shit”.
She asked whose cat,
I said,
“Well there is many cats wondering about on our road, take your pick”.
Since next door has a cat it would attract others to leave their marking. Same as dogs, if a dog smells mine, they are more likely to come and leave their markings.
My friend Adam’s boyfriend, was going to go to her door, lift my dogs shit up and the cats shit, knock on her door and say that he is doing a survey on dogs shit and cats, can you tell the difference.
I thought that would be funny, but might make matters worse.
Now, I admit there was one that looked as if it was a small dogs shit, I mean a very small dog, but it wasn’t my dogs shit, my dogs shit is 2 inches wide, and 5 inches long. Please, I need to stop there, this topic is becoming to detailed, but I am sure people with dogs can understand what I am trying to state.
I mentioned to her to close the gate when she goes out, and do you think she did, no, of course not. One day I walked behind her, and she slammed the gate open to amuse herself in annoying me.
I asked the gate to be shut for many reasons;
1. So my dogs cannot walk onto the road
2. So no dogs can come to the garden and leave their markings or shit
How I know other dogs come in, I have noticed a black Labrador, a collie and the woman along the road’s terrier.
Of course, thick as she is, she left it open every time just to satisfy herself, and then come to my door and complain about shit being on her garden.
Doh!!! Thick or what!!!!!!!!!1
A lady, who knows dogs, can tell you, if your dog is taken out regular as mine is, dogs don’t shit on their own garden unless it’s an emergency.
Example, Moss was shaking one morning and wanted out, I opened door, and saw him run over to next-door, far away on other side, and went behind the tree and had diarrhoea. I phoned to lady to let her know, she was fine about it, and later on I picked it up. Not pleasant, but a need is a need.
But all other times the dogs rush past the gate, does the toilet on after. A lady who has a collie who works in the Doctors agrees with me also.
She saw me at the window, flung the gate open and walked off.
Later on that afternoon, guess who came to the door complaining about shit. She then came out with this sentence,
“Cats cover their shit”,
I said
“Oh! Right do they, fine”.
She started rambling on about something else, and then guess what came next. Instead of facts correct and knowing she is wrong, insults always come next, she said to me,
“I know your simple”.
I just said
“Right fine, and slammed the door shut”.
What the F**** is the point, sometimes I would love to put a knife through some people because they sure deserve it, the amount of crap that comes out of their mouth.
Now, I phoned a cat home and spoke to a lady who looks after the cats. Her comment was,
“Cats have now become lazy, the same as dogs. As dogs also used to also cover up their toilet, but now they don’t. Few cats do now, but especially if a cat is doing the toilet in another garden other than their own, they don’t.”.
So this is a statement from a professional person, because what do I know about cats, I am only a dumb stripper and student.
So later on the next week, I paid a company to put springs on the gate so it closes with the spring by itself, so it’s constantly shut, and Geeh! Guess what! Nobody has found any shit since.
What a F***** coincidence, talk about thick or what..***********************
I told an ex boss in Glasgow about her comment and his reply was,
“You might be complicated, but you’re not simple”. Not sure if that’s a compliment or not.
A month later, I saw her walking up the back. Did she notice this or not, probably not, her head may have been that far up ****. One of these people who think they are above the rest!
The black terrier was right on the fence we share with next-door doing the toilet. That terrier isn’t next-door dog, how it got there. Let me think now! His gate is open! Might be one conclusion.
But never mind, what do I know, I am only a stripper.
So moving on…………..
last year, I noticed water coming through the bathroom. The joiner I know well, and trust, came to have a look and said upstairs was leaking. The leak was above my electric shower, great eh!!!!!
I could not get hold of the female, the one complaining about cats dog shit. I had her sister’s husbands number she gave me if needed when she was away. He came in to have a look, and you are not going to believe this. His comment was, get ready for this,
“That’s condensation, you’ve wasted my F***** time coming all the way out here you s********”.
I was pissed off!!!!! What a load of B*****!!!! Now I am no plumber, joiner, scientist, but as far as I am aware, condensation does not drip from the wall, especially the material of the bathroom ceiling.
But what do I know I am only a stripper!!!
The joiner came up the next day. He couldn’t believe what was said, so he drilled a small hole through the ceiling and guess what came out, floods of water.
He said,
“Does that look like condensation”?
So he went to sort it out with them himself.
I passed her the next week, and said to her,
“An apology from your brother in law, eh!”
She looked at me as if to say,
“Me, up here, apology to someone as common as you, I don’t think so”.
You all can guess I never got an apology from neither. But it doesn’t surprise me.
I WOULD HELP IN LIFE IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST LISTEN AND TAKE A MOMENTS THOUGHT!!!
Moving on now to last month…………………
The flat is rented out now and the guy is all right. The gate got damaged and it had to be fixed, but in the meantime I mentioned to him, if you find shit, it isn’t my dogs. He replied,
“I know, I see your dogs rush to the gate when you go out”.
Wow!!! Someone who uses a bit of brain and observe first, before accusing!
The middle of last month, I noticed water dripping on the top of my window. I thought it was my window, and it might stop when the rain stops, I couldn’t do much as it was Saturday. This was 9am. I went back into the bathroom at 1am to have a shower, and I was shocked and I well and truly freaked out.
The whole bathroom was soaked, and the water was dripping through the light bulb. Panic!!!! Panic!!!! I am no Einstein, but as far as I am aware, electric and water don’t mix well. In others words! Unless I wanted a new haircut, I wouldn’t put a wet finger into a socket. I had to do a show that day, but could not get into the bathroom. I phoned the joiner I know, and he told me to turn the water supply outside off. It was a bit stiff, but when turned off it did not make any difference to the leak upstairs.
I went knocking on upstairs door, no answer, as far as I was aware I thought I heard someone in. I constantly went knocking, to try and get her to turn her water off. This is some foreign girlfriend of the man staying upstairs. So only option, phone police station and see if they could find out any number from upstairs. No other option, could find no one to turn water off. I phoned the joiner again, panicking, and he gave one of her relations. So, I looked up the phone book and phoned to see if they had any contact details of the guy upstairs. You all not going to believe this one either, guess what this female said to me, get ready for this,
“Now Zena you said this last year about a leak….”.
I hit the F**** roof,
How dare you! You a partronising, smarmy piece of S**************
“Did they not tell you it was a leak, and damaged my ceiling, lucky it never collapsed”.
“Now you’re exaggerating”, then she rambled on a bit. They way she spoke to you, exactly the same as her sister, it’s disgusting.
I don’t care exaggeration, a roof with a leaf for over a day, and neighbour not bothering wouldn’t you all be panicking.
I was severely pissed off at this point. She told me that she would try and get hold of her sister, and then she said,
“My husband is not a plumber he is a joiner”,
I mentioned ‘was it not him who done her bathroom’, and she denied it. But have a guess which person came up to fix it again, as it was the same person who fixed it last year.
Surprise! It was him!!!!!!!
I was so pissed off at this point. I kicked myself an hour later, I should have said to her,
“Mr Chippy is a joiner also, but he can tell the difference between condensation and a F****** leak”.
If only I was a bit quicker, but at this point I was mad!!! It’s not the first time this has happened. No apology and they stand in denial and talk to you as if you were muck off their shoes.
When I went off the phone, the police station left me a message to phone the fire brigade, so I did, and I never knew they would have anything to do with leaks in bathrooms, I was surprised.
I tried to knock at the door again, and no answer. The fire brigade arrived and guess who answered the door,
“Dunderdunce! Dutch girl. I had to use what water was leftover, to get washed as I had to leave in an hour. They turned the water off, the leak never stopped straight away, but no leak when I got home that night.
I got a friend to phone her relation to find out about insurance which address, and who.
Her comment to him was,
“It was only a small leak, and the girl never answered the door because she is scared of me”.
I guess it would be to intellectual to open the window and ask what the problem was.
A small leak, my arse, small leak. The insurance came to have a look. The first leak has rotted the ceiling and this has damaged the ceiling also. My whole ceiling is now brown. Now my ceiling has black marks, the insurance came to look and I need a new roof.
On the last leak she said it should dry, I thought last year I couldn’t be bothered with anymore hassle, so I just left it.
My ex boss in Glasgow which is now a builder, he told me that the material on ceiling if gets wet, it starts rotting.
The brown mark from first one did not clear up. I now have another massive brown circle right round the middle, and joins on with the old brown mark from last year..
SO YOU ALL CAN GUESS HOW F***** PISSED OFF I AM,
HOPE INSURANCE WILL SORT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another matter I thought which was rather amusing, I stopped the guy with his girlfriend going into his house, and asked whom my insurance company sends the letter to. She hid behind him and never even had the guts to show her face!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven’t finished yet, wait to you hear the hassle at the start of September!!!!!!!!
I have got to win the lottery now!!!!!!!!!
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