 Had a crap month, it went from bad to worse, this month not finished yet!!
I have had nothing but phone call after phone call, and it’s not customers. One person who sounds rather young left me this message,
“Well hello sexy, yes, I’m a male with a nine inch cock, yeah, and you can do anything with me, you can blow job me and have sex, I’m not bothered, but I want you baby. Mumble! Mumble!!! Message me back, okay, bye sexy”
I lost the number now, but remembered it ended with 621. Now I thought logically the Police would find out whom the mobile number belongs to, go to their parents and repeat exactly what their child said. If that was my child, I would be embarrassed and mortified. But Geeh! how wrong could I be, stupid thought wasn’t it, och! Well here goes….
So I reported it to the police, they came to visit, and who did they send, PC Blob and Noddy. So I decided to record the conversation, as a solicitor suggested it. The female asked,
“Are you recording”,
I said, “Yes”
So replied
“I’m not wanting recorded”,
I replied,
“Well, if everything you say is legitimate and above board, and correct, where is the problem”,
Her reply was,
“I will stop the conversation if you are recording”.
So I turned the tape off, but doesn’t it make us all wonder how much bullshit our local police give. So I decided, after thinking this really is a waste of time, that I let them hear the message. All they did was laugh and thought it was amusing, maybe I should give some messages similar on their phone, let’s see how long they could put up with it.
Her comment was,
"It just sounds like young kids".
Excuse me, did I hear right, that's not what your PC Sherlock Homes says, (check story) as far as he is aware, you cannot roughly tell the age of any caller just by the voice. Maybe it was a 50 year old with plastic surgery. Anyway, looking at the size of PC Blob, hope she’s on duty if I ever think of robbing a bank and doing a runner, don’t think she would get far. The man stood there and said nothing, the female opened her mouth then let her arse rumble.
They didn’t even take the number. Her first line was,
“Why don’t you cancel you landline number, so they can’t phone”.
Eh!!! Hello you thick ***************
“How is that going to stop harassing phone calls, all they would do is phone the mobile and then block the mobile”.
Her next suggestion, PC Ms Blob,
“Buy another mobile number so the customers can phone that mobile”
“What”
Forgive me for being dumb here, but how is the customers going to know the other number, Doh!!!!!!!! I would have to advertise that number then wouldn’t I.
Surprise, and guess what she said next, please read my last story.
“You can block numbers on your mobile”,
Oh for F******** sake,
“No you can’t”
Then she starting arguing with me saying you can.
It was worthless talking to this dumb fat PC Blob, where do they get these people from, please someone tell me.
I think it would have been better off talking to a public toilet, less crap there, not saying I go around talking to public toilets or anything.
I replied to the guy,
“Orange and I think Vodafone can block numbers buy 3G cannot”
She argued again. So what I done the next day, I phoned the company just to check again, in case the staff made a mistake, and guess what the next 3G staff said, exactly the same.
Something about contract and they can get done. So just to make sure I phoned our local mobile company and he checked it out, and guess what, they said the same to him.
He told me that I should have replied this back go PC Blob,
“Before you call me a liar, which is what you are doing, why don’t you phone the company up and find out the facts for yourself”, but I didn’t did I. I was too worked up about her no brain comments.
The mobile guy also said I should have replied to her,
“Ever thought of putting your brain into gear before opening your mouth”.
So we can all guess the police are correct and everybody else is wrong, even the mobile companies are wrong, maybe they are lying to me and keeping it all a top secret service.
Then PC Blob said to me,
“Why not go onto another network”,
“Well, I am on a contract just now”. I replied
Her answer was, something about buying another mobile, and joining a different network.
So that would mean I’ll have 2 mobiles, 2 different networks, and both obviously have to advertise in case one is blocked with one or two weirdo’s. Maybe they get a good income, my income just keeps my head above water, so where is the money going to come from. If the weirdo’s can’t contact me on one, they will obviously phone the other mobile, doh!!! What you think!!!!!!!!!!!
IF THIS IS GETTING CONFUSING FOR YOU ALL NOW, I UNDERSTAND?
Right, 3 weeks ago, about a month, since I started looking after my friends’ dog, someone constantly keeps phoning me every weekend. One Saturday he phoned my landline, one after the other, it does get really tiresome. So I had to block withheld numbers, which is the good point of BT landline, mobiles cannot do this. But did that stop him. No!!! Of course it didn’t!!! Stupid Question!!!!!
Obviously, he just started phoning the mobile. He said nothing on each call, so since it was the mobile, I just put it by the television and carried on what I was doing. He’s paying for the call not me. I was waiting for a job to call me this Saturday at Aviemore, which was more annoying because he may be blocking him. After leaving it by the television, the mobile ran again, and again and again, and he said nothing each call. From 1130am to 4pm, this carried on. I lost count at 20 calls in these hours. It is now every weekend he phones and says nothing. One Friday night, I dropped my friend’s dog off at 1245am, and drove home, reached in my door by 1am, and guess what started, this person constantly phoning. So it’s either the weirdo who lives next to my friend, which he has done this before and followed me around the town one day. Or could be someone who lives close by, maybe the “post him nextdoor” (story) and her no brain friend, they only stay few doors away. You never know. There is nothing more stranger than folk. It’s someone who knows that I just got into my house right at that minute.
So I mentioned this to the police, more than 20 anonymous calls, in the 4 hours, that one weekend and says nothing at all on the phone.
Your not going to believe what the police said to me,
“Are you sure it’s the same person”.
Oh, god give me strength. I know I am popular, but come on. Yeah!!! I can just see 20 plus anonymous different guys within 4 hours phoning me up, and saying nothing. Popularity eh!!!!
Twenty guys each spending roughly 15 minutes some longer every hour on mobile saying nothing.
You doshy F*********** stupid F************* C********** B********** A********** I************ F****** P *********
Please fill in the words yourself.
She replied, well you did expect these sorts of phone calls when starting this job. PC Blob said,
“As far as we are aware you don’t do sex”, something about others not knowing.
I mentioned that I did expect phone calls of these questions, but I would expect if I say no, end of story, not repeatedly phoning and asking.
PC Blob mentioned,
“We heard you do more than stripping”.
“Please tell me what you heard”. They said nothing.
Strange because after that day, next day, a withheld number called,
“Asking if I do sex”. I replied no of course.
The voice did not sound the normal local voice. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if it were the police checking. Next week again, it was the same, withheld number and same question. Ah!!! but this time, he said, there is millionaires there, etc etc,
I said,
“Sounds tempting, but no thanks”.
Strange how this straight question, straight one calls started, few days after this visit. Not the usual voice you hear with this question. I know, well I guess it was the police who phoned at the start, the voice just gives it away and the withheld number, not the usual rif raf local voice, no offence, but I am sure you all understand what I mean. Message if it is the police checking,
HELLO, ARE YOU ALL DOWN THERE HOPING FOR A DIFFERENT ANSWER THAN NO!!!! TOUGH S**** EH!!!!
So I mentioned the text messages, and there you have the message and the number. One been going for 6 months, but doesn’t stay local. Only thing I can do so far about that is show the message on my website with their number. Your not going to believe what PC Blob said next,
“Do you not think that will make them text more, your making it worse”,
How the F********** does she come up with that idea.
“I don’t think so, especially when the ones shown hasn’t texted back since”,
She actually still argued with me, what a dumb fat B***********, where the F******** did they pick this thick bimbo’s from, is there a rule in the application form for joining the local police, your IQ must be lower than 10, and that’s me being generous. Maybe the person in charge makes sure of this, save any threats.
So I said,
“Right, your trying to tell me, that you would be happy having your number exploited on a website asking for sex when you may have a partner, I don’t think so, do you”,
She still argued,
“Doh!!!! Well it’s strange they haven’t texted since”.
I mean if the males locally cannot talk to me, due to the woman ripping them to shreds if they do, somehow I don’t think it would go down well, if there friends see them asking me for sex and asking how much, also texing sexual comments to me. Can you imagine the scenario if they had a partner?
The one who been texting for 6 months, nobody knows him, and he doesn’t stay local, so nobody can humiliate him, and accuse him of being desperate.
So I showed the last text to her, the one which read,
“I hope ur able to I would love to play with ur pussy if I was allowed I would love too licke ur pussy if u would let me”. (check unwanted texts)
Your not going to believe PC Blob comments,
“You have obviously been texting them”.
How the F********* did she come to that conclusion, Local Sherlock Homes.
“How did you come to that conclusion”? I asked
She never answered,
His question text to me was,
“Do you do sex”, or something similar, I didn’t keep that text message.
I couldn’t be bothered answering, I don’t bother, when you start, it doesn’t end, then the next text was the one above…….
Even the guy was shocked by it, but he just as usual, stood there, said nothing, and nodded…..
Next suggestions was, why not turn your mobile phone off at night after 10. Yeah, that sounds fair, especially when some people I know text me to see if I am still up, because they can’t get to sleep and want a chat.
So I have no landline, no mobile after 10pm, sounds fair to me, yes, brilliant, fantastic, what the F****** would I do without the police’s intellectual ideas, boy I would be so lost. Cough!!! Why not just be honest about this, and admit, you can’t be bothered to lift your fat lazy arse off the seat and do something about it.
I phoned BT, and they said we can do something, but unless the police are willing we cannot intervene.
Next she starting talking about a furniture shop, I am not joking, at this point I switched off.
So PC Blob replied to me,
“Well I have given all suggestions and you are not taking any of them”,
“Well, it would help if some of the suggestions are constructive, but none so far sound sensible”.
Her reply again was,
“Well, you are just going to have to accept it comes as part of your job”.
I could see red, I was gritting my teeth, you F************* S*********** D************** B*******************
I wanted to punch her right through her head. It would be amazing the feeling of complete satisfaction it would give me.
You know I just remembered that I have a baseball bat behind my furniture, which my sister Sheila gave me as a present. Maybe I should have picked it up, smacked her head a couple of times with it, watch it bounce off the walls. Whilst having great delight of seeing her splattered everywhere, reply to PC Noddy,
“Och! Well! Never mind, it’s all part of her job”.
So remember viewers, don’t feel sympathy for the staff answering the police calls and receiving abuse, because it’s all part of their job.
If you see a police person getting beating up with the locals, just turn and reply,
“Never mind, it’s all part of your job”.
If anyone gets taken to court for abusive language to the police, please by all means phone me, I would take great pleasure in standing up in court,
“Well, your honour, as far as I am aware, does it not come as part of their job”.
So they left after, didn’t even take the number down, did F****** all. I was pissed off. I phoned the police station an hour later to ask the staff, please tell me
“How cancelling my landline number is going to stop nuisance phone calls”.
This police guy replied, he sounded different from the normal no brain police I have recently dealt with, don’t know who he was,
“It wouldn’t they would just phone mobile instead”.
Pardon, did I hear right!! Oh wow! I don’t believe this, I nearly collapsed, thought I was going into shock mode, I nearly collapsed on the floor. A local police who has a brain, oh, man!!!! I was getting hot flushes.
I had to check just to make sure it was our local police station number I phoned, maybe it got diverted somewhere else.
He said you can do something about it, he suggested a few things, which was more helpful than PC Blob, and I mentioned about the comment from PC Blob, about opening another mobile number, and he replied,
“You’re still going to have to advertise it”.
Oh, wow! What a man!! You can tell so much with this person, his whole attitude was completely different, maybe it was an alien, and I asked him
“Oh, wow!! Are you married”,
He laughed, knowing I was joking, (so no ideas please) he replied,
“Yes, I’m afraid you’re too late”.
The attitude with this guy was so different, good sense of humour, brains as well, hard to find nowadays.
At least he made me feel a bit lighter than I was, he was sound.
He took the numbers just to see for himself, but he did mention if it’s a pay as you go, it doesn’t come up as anything. But at least he tried and made an effort.
I spoke to the person in charge the next day, PC Bigbells, I mentioned, when I am in Inverness next time I have decided to go to the headquarters, explained why.
In fact, solicitor mentioned that I could take it up with the procurator fiscal. PC Bigbells said
“If you get another number, you are still having to advertise it, I would advised you to a diary of all the calls.
I mentioned only thing I can do about text messages is exploit them on website, and he thought that idea was all right. Especially if the guy with the number has a partner, wouldn’t take long to get around.
I will never mock another male policeman again, unless need be of course.
It seems to be locally, I noticed that night, most, remember I said most, I know one of two females that are fine. But I noticed, the female police I have dealt with open their mouth and less their arse rumble, and then the men stand there and say, yes maam!, no maam!, 3 bags full.
Bye the way, today the guy who has texted me for 6 months, has twice today mentioned something about tits and arse, I just deleted.
He texted today 29th September same texts constantly, (starting to wonder was invented mobiles a good thing), I phoned the police and said,
"I have decided to contact headquarters now, this is not on, and nobody can do anything about this harrassment",
This was the exact line the receptionist came out with ,
"I am sick the way you talk to me on the phone, who is speaking",
Right here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I replied, sarcastically back,
"I'm sick the way you are talking to me too, and obviously by your sentence you know exactly who it is". We got this, dumb no brain, receptionist.
She actually argued with this, now if someone quotes the line,
"I am sick the way you talk to me", obviously refers to this being often, as in past,
She denied then said
"The way the are talking just now".
Oh f***, whats the point, I guess her grammar is worse than mine, please check these 2 lines and tell me if I can correct,
"I am sick the way you talk to me"
"I am sick the way you are talking to me" Even by using the work 'sick', refers to something as a progression of time.
ANYBODY NOTE THE DIFFERENCE
Maybe I should have replied to the receptionist,
"DOES IT NOT COME AS PART OF YOUR JOB"Oh, but we must not forget, think it seems to be more often locally than anywhere else. It’s all right for everyone else to talk down to others, shout and insult but as soon as I retaliate or they get a taste of your own medicine, you start throwing your toys out of the pram. I had some female who was shouting and passing insults to me, so I called her a stupid cow (what an insult to animals) and walked off. She expected an apology from me. It also surprises me that everyone goes around telling everyone, “Oh! She said this and that to me”, but they seem to forget what they all said before, so many with selective memory. I wish some people would record themselves sometimes and listen, you all might realise why children are going off the rail.
Speak tomorrow, let you know how it is, officer on phone suggested a warning to this guy, let's see. eh!
Well that's them left. I was so relieved it was the policeman from outside the pub on last story, the one I nearly kissed his feet. His partner is sound as a pound, and said they would give warning. Think I will call him PC Stud, goes well.
I think the reason here, is one is from university and seen the world, the other guy has been about, well not literally, he's not originally from here. My promise is, if I do see this guy again I will go on my knees for him. You have no idea how relieved it becomes when someone understands.
SO I WILL NEVER EVER MOCK A MALE POLICE MAN AGAIN, XXXXX
MY LAST TEXT, YOU WONDER WHY I GET SO PISSED OFF!!!!!
"UR PUSSY AND TITS AND ASS IS THE BEST ZENA I LOVE UR HOT BODY"!
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