| Ah! See I knew it, why you all started reading this story. Well! Sorry to disappoint, if your looking for that sort of confession or story, go and get a adult magazine, or go and buy a good blue movie. Dirty Boys!  I bet this story will have more than 100 viewers by the end of next week.  Through the summer, I have been walking to Gairlochy and back, beside a Canal. At the other end there is a café. I met a lovely lady, very pretty she is, and very down to earth. She is that nice I nearly fancied her myself. Not to keen on her friend, she didn't look too impressed with me. Tries to be in higher class than the rest. Few shows I had people from well to do families,especially the ones which I thought were outdated, thought they never existed. They were all sound. It's the ones who try to be, gets up my nose. But, one day I handed my CV into her café, but café was closed. I delivered into her letterbox. Whilst walking out of the gate,a land rover car stopped. This 7 foot plus guy stepped out, now he is good looking. I would have fancied him if his wife wasn't so nice. He was very well dressed, and you can tell his suit isn't from our local clothes store, that's for sure. He was telling me where his wife may be, standing there looking right through me. By the time he finished I felt one foot from the ground. He was very intimidating. Felt similar to those cartoons where they are walking and all you see is the hat and feet, felt that small. Have to admit lovely couple, both suit each other perfectly.  My own solicitor is less threatening. . He is good looking, nice smile, friendly and very chilled out. But I don't know how his body is, I only see him behind his desk. Now I can't say anything bad about him, he has been so helpful in last 2 years. The amount of times he has sorted out business matters, I should start buying shares. Think he gets amused when I am blabbing on in his office. After I have explained everything he asks me to sign this form. You know I have never read it, for all I know it might be reading, 'I believe I am a nutcase'. Signed
It worries me when he has this big grin whilst signing. Don't know what it reads, never read it, think I better check it next time, eh! Now we come to my Doctors. I find him rather funny. Since doing kissograms, I can't look at men seriously. Think he gets nervous or frightened, maybe both when I arrive. but he isn't as nervous as me, it's the authority part. He can't get me out the door quick enough. Think he is worried I might jump up and do a striptease. I am so tempted to walk in with one of my outfits, freak him out. I have to admit, he is good looking, like his dress style. Except for the leather jacket, it's out. Me, support animal rights, and try my best not to wear the material. You can tell straight away he's from a public school. More said about that later on. He has a wife and is very much a family man, but sound. But wish he would take my problems seriously, my osteopath is great, say more about him later on. Back to doctor...... Now me as a family, wifey, person, Yuk! It just doesn't suit me at all. I am not into "I've ironed all your clothes dear, Yuk!!!! etc". See them shopping in local supermarket, picking what to have, bloody heck! What a boring life. Style, is not me at all. Kids, I am alright, as long as they are aware their kids might become professional pole dancers by the age of 16, Geeh! What more can a parent ask for. I can't help smiling when I see him, nice guy. But think I frighten the poor old man. He asks me to bend over (fooled you all) Bend right, bend left, bend back, he is just checking my back. Thinking to myself, "Bloody heck!! Can he not find a position he likes", Keep mouth shut, stop there, I thought???? I blame my job. The nurse was there at the time, nurses are sound.
He was talking about arthritis, and saying he has it in his wrist, not just one, both. 
"Please keep your mouth shut, shut up, and say nothing". I went quiet, it was so tempting. I was just about to say,
'that is what you get for to much **********', or is it lack of *************. I won't. Shut up, I can't help it, I do blame my job. "Or maybe have a word with your wife about that". But he did say that he broke his wrist,
"Oh, my.............................................................".  What can I say. He was standing showing x-rays. To he honest, I hadn't a clue what he was talking about, I don't know the differnce between one leg and the other, looked no different to me. Sure he knows what he's talking about, glad someone does???? I said to him, when I went in, that if I have to wait any longer than half an hour, I'm taking my dogs in with me. He asked me where they were, and I said "In the car". "they are alright in the car", he said and I mentioned that it's wet and cold, his answer was, "Dogs have fur coats".
Excuse me, I have just thought. There he was talking about arthritis, and then saying there's nothing wrong with my doggies sitting in the car, wet and cold. Well, if Moss oldest gets Arthritis, I will take him in to see my doctor, it would save a lot of money on vet bills.
Don't mind telling an old grumpy geezer my medical problems, but he's not, far from it, nice guy and I am sure he thinks I am a complete head case.
I can't say anything bad, I'm on his good books this month. I am writing more about my doctor than my psychiatrist, reason being I have been seeing my doctor more often this week than my psychiatrist. Is that a good sign, or what ?????
Teacher, eh, their reputation is not so good. Teachers seem to put themselves on a pedestal, and think they are god. When most of them are completed *******, when I was at school, 80% was bed hopping, or should I say desk hopping. Nah! I wouldn't trust them. Police, I always wonder about the police myself. I mean I do like men in uniforms, I get all wobbly knees. But I do wonder, when he states his usual line,
"You have the right to remain silent, and whatever you do say will be given as evidence".
So you shout out, "Spank me", "Ouch! Ouch!" "You naughty boy", "Oh! not very big is it" Now if at any time you in trouble, would he actually write it all down, and use it as evidence? Can you imagine in court, "Yes, your honour, the offender replied to us ???????" It would raise a few eyebrows in court. Now, you are all wondering why I am writing about these professionals. I always look at them and wonder ........................... Pointer, I am not money orientated, not wanted up the duff, and certainly not a wifey married person. 
Married, Yuk! Ugh! Wifey! Ugh! To a Lawyer, Solicitor, Barrister, Advocate Judge, whatever. Most off our laws has been done from 18th century if not earlier, lawyer knows most, and there would probably be one somewhere which states if wife does not obey, dread to think what consequences has been written.
Can you imagine me in one of their parties, one come up and asks, "What do you do for a living", somehow I think the word 'stripper?, might not go down to well. I can hear all the tunes of Nightmare on Elm street, Gasp! Shock! Horror! A few females fainting, "Oh! Take her away dear, dirty girl". Speaking to their partners.  Anyway, some of my shows, there's been police, doctors, lawyers,! Think maybe because they have been out of our area, they become more open minded.
STOP! HAULT! GOSSIP STARTING! NOT DONE LOCALLY ONLY IN KISSGRAM SHOWS! Reminds me of this restaurant, because they were looking for an Accounts assistant. She saw me, knew who I was and her voice got into a panic, "No, No you're alright, we have many replies and found happy with them all. No, No, you are alright". Bloody heck! If I never left the building quick enough, I am sure she was either going to take a panic attack, stroke or have heart failure. Right, there you are in bed with a lawyer. To make sure you do your best he has a compensation claim form next to the bed, don't mind as long as the wife can become the judge. Does he have some prenumial agreement before action has taken place? I bet dirty talking isn't cheap in the bed either. Well, at least you can be sure, he could probably screw you more ways than one. CHILL! JOKE! I was talking financially. SHAME ON YOU!!!! Doctor baffles me. How can he get sexually excited, when he sees them every day? If you see one, you see them all.
"Open mouth", but be careful, don't cough, choke, just swallow. BLIMING HECK! I WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS MEDICINE, YOU LOT HAVE GOT A DIRTY MIND.
Married, Yuk! Wifey! Ugh! To a Psychiatrist, it's more worrying. If he has an affair, and wants to get rid of you quick, but not kill you, all he needs to do is write a note declaring insanity, the white van turns up at your door. Me, I wouldn't stand a chance, they take one look at me and I would be lifted. Not the first time!!!!!!
Anyway, knowing me, if I did escape from the mental hospital, I would probably phone up just to make sure I had escaped. Ask receptionist on the phone if there is anyone in room number 40, if she says no,
"Good, I've escaped then". Think psychiatrist probably look too much into situations.
I can't say much about a Policeman. But I wonder if any has complained to wife for wasting police time. Worse still, puts something in your mouth and says
"You have the right to remain silent"
Teachers, they got bad reputation anyway, so we will miss them out just now.
Dentist, I have a fantastic female dentist. I always feel woman are better at dentistry than men. Though I feel sorry for males who visit her as their dentistry, she is just really pretty. I can bet they all drool when she asks them to open mouth. I admit she is really good looking, as I say, if I was that way inclined I would drool myself.
HERE IS A BIG QUESTION! It's amazing the difference between a professional life and a strippers life.
If a stripper goes to the police station, or any sort of office for help or advice, would he/she be spoken to and treated the same as if a professional as the doctor or solicitor goes to the police, or any office for advice. The answer is NO. I would love to put a camera in to prove this. You would be amazed how differently you are spoken to, a complete different manner.
If you are married, Ugh! Wifey! Ugh! To a high professional person, would you be treated the same if you were a single female stripper. The answer again is probably NO. This might offend a few people. The lovely lady I met in the café, would this friend still be so happy to stop for a chat if she was a single stripper. No, or is this woman there just because her husband is a lawyer, keep in with crowd.
Has anyone ever looked at someone and wondered, especially when you see a large couple together, does anyone ever wonder,????????????
My major big confessions, is, I'm always nervous when I have to visit these people, except my dentist, especially when they are formally dressed and sitting at a desk staring at you.
So friend told me to imagine them with their clothes off. Now, I have tried this, but it doesn't quite stop at that. Then you wonder hairy or not, wonder, since private school, whipping into thoughts, then it finally, hopefully I have left before my thoughts get further.
Please if you have a vivid imagination, do not think of them without their clothes.
Just as well I don't get as nervous if it's female!!!
YES, RIGHT BRILLIANT IDEA, NOW PICK UP YOUR STRAIGHT JACKET ON YOUR WAY OUT!!!!!!! 
Anybody got any better ideas, please do not hesitate to contact me and let me know. 
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