So, that is me back to eh! Normal!!!! Cough!! Well, as normal as I can be, in others words, calmed a bit from week ends mishaps. I am sure when Rolling Stones wrote that song 'Mothers little helper', they were thinking of me, except for the mother part, only mother I will be to is my doggies, sorry, I am not the maternal type, and I don't take drugs, even class C drugs, Valium, though I may need it. I always think the best cure for stress and depression is look on the funny side of life, it does stop you loosing your marbles. (If not already lost)!  I was thinking back on the nightclub times, and people locally. I remember it was only last year, at a Halloween party. I went down dressed and had a look to see if there was anyone interesting. Ah! Who did I see? My close pal John, one I mentioned about cooker in last story. They gave me a wave, and shouted me over. He was with his mate Tony and someone else whom I didn't know. I have known John and Tony, since I was 14 years old, and John is the one person I would trust wholeheartedly, friends not bed buddies.  Before anyone locally starts gossiping, nope! Haven't slept with him either, we have been close friends for many years, and I can tell him anything. So, they both told me to sit with them, because they just know, how popular my reputation is with the locals. Don't know why myself! So, I sat on Johns knee, couldn't find any chairs free, but all was harmless, and Tony and myself got up and danced, had good laugh, John to frightened to dance. But when we sat down, Tony asked for a bit favour. I listened to what he asked, and both had a wink.  So, I went over and sat on his mates knee, he was from Glasgow, think I will call him Jim, you will always find a Jim in Glasgow. So I sat on his knee, bent back, and gave a kiss on cheeks. Tony quickly took the photos, and we all threatened with, "Right this is getting sent back to your wife, to show her what you been getting up to locally". All found it funny. Jim smiled but looked a bit worried. I noticed we were being gawked at from the corner crowd. All of a sudden this girl whom I have know for a while, think I know her mother better. But she said, "Can I have a word for a minute". "Yes, what's wrong?" I asked So I went to see what she wanted, as she pulled me away from John, and you will never believe what she said, are you ready for this, "this is why you got a bad name", she said "Eh! Excuse me!" "this is why you got a bad name", she repeated "What? Och! Get a grip", Now walk away, just smile, say nothing, walk away, I felt my back hair lifting, it does sicken you really. Then I hear her saying, something on the line of, "I saying this cause I care". I was so tempting to reply, "Well, I am saying this cause I care. Did you ever wonder why your last boyfriend walked in the entrance door and run out the exit?"  "No, oh well", so tempting, but say nothing Zena, just smile, and I replied "Have a lovely night, bye", and walked off with a smile. "F*** me, talk about sad eh!"  I mean, I bet she is crap in the bed. 
I can hear it, listen!
"Oh no! We can't do that, people might not agree, oh Dear! No! What will the neighbours say! "
I mean you can see them all in a corner, gossiping, "I told you she was a prostitute, Blah! Blah! Blah! Look at the state of that" Right okay, I will stop there, but get my point ????.. What a sad life! Eh! What's wrong are you all sulking because you not getting any attention!! "Aw! Poor you!" I mean it might help if you all get off arse, and quit bitching and sulking!! "No, oh well!!! Just a thought!" Never mind. Next!. Do you really think I give a s**** in what people think or say about me? If they are talking about me, they are leaving some other poor beggar alone. You can talk about me, it just proves my popularity in town, fame at last, shame no fortune!  Excuse me! Everyone! I have had a bad reputation since I was in my teens. In fact think I was called a Slag, Whore, you name it, and that was when I was still a virgin, when I was 16. I know, Shock!! God I started late? Do you really think I am going to bother now? If I so much bothered what people say about me, I would be sitting in my house reading a housewifey book, or sitting knitting. In fact, I actually tried knitting when I was younger, but the scarf had a bit too many holes. I know, my reputation in the locals is getting worse, you should see their faces when I walk into some of the buildings, but one will talk about that later. What I think is the most amusing. John usually pops up to my house for a coffee. But on Monday morning, he popped into a café, and whilst sitting there, this girl approached him. He didn't know her from Adam or Eve, and she opened her mouth and said, "I didn't know you know Zena, saw you Saturday night, How do you know her?", Oh! Stupid boy! John answered that we have been friends since childhood, asked what the problem was. When he told me this, I said, you're bloody hopeless!!! , your fired, I'll find another pimp", "What you should have said was", "I am one of her regular customers, I was trying to get a discount from her on Saturday night. The amount she charges is extortionate".
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