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| 16 June 2010 | ESCORT MY FIST SOMEWHERE | You not going to believe this... still shocked, stunned, have fun, some people get amused easily... "UPDATED", "UPDATED", "UPDATED", too intellectual or what read second part (stop adding goodnight, retyped most parts again)!!! "UPDATED" |
| 15 June 2010 | BANNED FROM A PUB | Banned, but I don't care, as I would do the same for anyone in that situation |
| 14 June 2010 | NO BRAIN PHONEPERSON | What a complete mess, and you all wonder why I am going mad, I'm going slightly mad.. |
| 14 June 2010 | LATEST WITH POLICE | I can say much bad, as at moment I have to keep on good side.. |
| 07 June 2010 | NEWLY BORN VIRGIN | 5 years, and I would like to thank one certain place.... UPDATED NEW NEWS ON ONE SHOW |
| 01 June 2010 | DREAM 2 | Am I the only person who can remember every dream |
| 30 May 2010 | CURSE OF A DREAM | I get some really weird cursed dreams, |
| 30 December 2009 | FINANCALLY PASSED | so where have I been, exam from hell
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| 30 December 2009 | ONE LEAK OR TWO | don't know who to smack first, insurace, pubguy, neighbours or maybe just everyone |
| 30 December 2009 | HAS SOMEONE GOT A VOODOO DOLL | From a strange leg to strange teeth, what next! |
| 10 August 2009 | EMBARRASSING MOMENTS | Keep an eye on this, as it will be kept updated, but kissogram jobs is not as easily as you all think! |
| 08 July 2009 | NO DRIVE PAST | I know they all see me coming, but I could not live with myself if.... |
| 14 April 2009 | DREAM NEVER TO HAPPEN | This is just a quick note, and it's driving me insane, modern ways eh!!
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| 02 April 2009 | STRAIGHTJACKET OR JAIL | What part can they not understand, fine I will have to take action... |
| 01 April 2009 | QUESTIONS NO ANSWER | What does viewers think, possible, maybe, probably..  rewritten,.. Finish this with a fact for all... |
| 29 March 2009 | TOUCH OF ENLIGHTENMENT | Prepared I wasn't. but warned I was, never realised until after... |
| 26 March 2009 | UNWANTED COURT CASE | Follow up from "Party Signal Ignored", one signal all of us missed out, even the bad guy |
| 01 December 2008 | PISS ME OFF PEOPLE | some people got a nerve, or two |
| 01 November 2008 | RECYCLED DICK | No backbone, no balls, what a bloody dick |
| 30 September 2008 | TOILET TRAUMAS | Why don't people ever listen and take a moments thought, instead of being an a.... |
| 28 September 2008 | PC BLOB AND PC NODDY | Promise never to mock a policeman who wears trousers again, unless of course it's a need b, and welcome to PC Stud |
| 01 September 2008 | POINTLESS POLICE FORCE | There is four words beginning with P, at least one is professional |
| 04 August 2008 | DOGS IN A DILEMMA | Dogs, two vegetarian dogs and one of them doesn't like flowers.
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| 31 July 2008 | INVASION OF THE RABBIT SNATCHERS | A night time gardener looks a bit suspicious
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| 04 July 2008 | SERIAL SOLICITOR | Never to be seen again, disappeared and vanish, left the building. EMERGENCY UPDATE STORY CONTINUED.... |
| 18 June 2008 | TEACHERS AND PUPILS | Has teachers self importance overpowered their self awareness
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| 15 June 2008 | PARTY SIGNALS IGNORED | Signals was right there in front, to much drink spoils it for everyone |
| 14 June 2008 | RIGHT EVERYONE IS ANNOYING ME | I need to get this off my chest, I will feel much better after, words erased now I've calmed down, another added and erased. This could go on you know!!! |
| 09 June 2008 | ONE GIRL WANTS TO HAVE FUN | Can we not go out and have fun without any hassle. Welcome to Funny Fort William.
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| 28 May 2008 | DAMAGE OF RUMOURS | It's like a book where the writers dies before he finishes with the facts,
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| 15 May 2008 | LOCAL HOMEWRECKER | Which married man to shag, preferable someone professional, make it all worth the hassle.
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| 10 April 2008 | MY SCHIZOPHRENIC FRIEND | Please let me introduce you to Mr or Ms Abby Normal |
| 21 March 2008 | POST HIM NEXTDOOR | I am stunned myself, that much effort I must be hot stuff for men now days.
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| 20 March 2008 | KNICKERS TO YOU | You wouldn't believe, even woman want my knickers.
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| 19 March 2008 | FAME NO FORTUNE | What can I say, fame at last, and it's very, very dirty!!!
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| 14 March 2008 | MY SISTERS SCARY FUNERAL | If this has anything to do with you sister, I am going to throttle you, see you soon.
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| 04 March 2008 | BAD NEWS SIS | I wonder what she would have thought about this conversation, it does take all sorts to make a world
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| 31 December 2007 | SECONDHAND MOTHERS | Why have children, if you have no patience and no time, beats me.
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| 30 December 2007 | WHERE HAVE I BEEN | Jargon, sounds foreign to me, but a must is a must
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| 19 December 2007 | DEER PRIDE AND JOY | What else are humans capable of doing, there are some demented people.... don't think it's me
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| 05 December 2007 | OUR SHERLOCK HOLMES POLICEMAN | If your dad phones, try not to mistaken him for your son or nephew or even neice. |
| 03 December 2007 | DOCTOR DEATH | You learn something new about people everyday, some prefer not to know
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| 30 November 2007 | LAWYER/DOCTOR/POLICE/ME | HAVE TO CONFESS TO YOU ALL, MAIN REASON FOR THIS STORY, READ ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| 30 November 2007 | SECRETARY TO A DOCTOR | Can I be your secretary, I am sure it's not as hard as it looks........! |
| 26 November 2007 | DRINK POLICE DRIVERS | Maybe their coffee was getting cold, but the word pronto is not found on their dictionary. |
| 25 November 2007 | 2 CAREERS DOWN | At least I know now, which jobs not to apply for. |
| 25 November 2007 | UNDERAGE SUPERMARKET | I think the age of 16, is just a little, maybe to much young for me, I would get done. |
| 12 November 2007 | LEAST HAVE ONE IQ | The amount of annoying texts I receive, it makes matters worse when sender is as thick as.... |
| 11 November 2007 | PENCES SHORT OF A POUND | It feels as if you are rolling the dice, and hoping for a good number. |
| 06 November 2007 | BE WARNED | I have warned you all, take notice of this leaflet. |
| 28 October 2007 | A MARKET DISABLEMENT | I try not to judge, but sometimes you wonder, is common sense away on leave
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| 26 October 2007 | MY PERFECT PARTNER | I been told by a friend that, I don't know what I am looking for in a relationship, so here is a point to prove to him. |
| 25 October 2007 | DOG DATING AGENCY | So since I can't advertise in shops, I will just have to do it myself. Well, not literally. |
| 24 October 2007 | THE GREY CORRIES | It was lovely up the top, but very drizzly, lovely view.
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| 24 October 2007 | COIRE CHNAMH TO BEINNN BHAN | In this walk you see loch linnhe, caledonian canal, loch lochy and loch arkaig.
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| 23 October 2007 | PUBLIC HOUSE NURSERY | I mean why she didn't start stamping her feet and throwing her handbag about. It would have suited her better. |
| 20 October 2007 | POETRY NUMBER ONE | Thought of putting some of my poetry in, heavy
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| 20 October 2007 | POETRY NUMBER TWO | Try my second poem, a bit heavy, do not read to much into it. |
| 19 October 2007 | OVER THE LIMIT OR NOT | Advocate is served in half pint glasses. But I could not drink a whole half pint, so I asked for the drink to be quartered and put into wine glasses. |
| 17 October 2007 | HANDCUFFS, BARS, CELLSBLOCKH | Why can't people accept if you are big enough to start a fight, you should be big enough to admit defeat? |
| 10 October 2007 | PUMPING POLICE PARKING TICKETS | Well, I never, this says it all, wish someone told me in advance because it would have saved me a lot of money. |
| 08 October 2007 | SPOT THE NO BRAIN | You can visualize a robot going out of control because it can't think past the first button. |
| 07 October 2007 | DO NOT FLATTER YOURSELF | But one must remember, I am in my 20's, you have to now be careful what you say to some people |
| 01 October 2007 | BAD REPUTATION | Pulled me away from John, and you will never believe what she said, are you ready for this, |
| 30 September 2007 | SURPRISINGLY DISABLED | When I become rich, and own my own company. All my staff will be disabled, |
| 24 September 2007 | FROM EMPLOYER TO EMPLOYEE | Where is my psychiatrist, I'm loosing the plot now. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| 22 September 2007 | LOVE MY DOGS WHATEVER | The best person for my dogs was me, nobody else could love them anymore.
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| 17 September 2007 | AN ORGANISED INTERVIEW | Here is the interview, and here are the questions, and here are the answers they are looking for. |
| 01 September 2007 | NIGHTCLUBS ADVERT FOR HEAD AND SHOULDERS | I swear that is all I said, honestly, swear on anything, that is all I said?????. |
| 01 September 2007 | LOST "PING PONG BALL" | It suddenly got swooped up and disappeared, well out of reach. |
| 26 August 2007 | CARN MOR DEARG TO BEN NEVIS | Another situation where bite of more than I can chew, but accomplished. |
| 25 August 2007 | LOST ROADS TO SHIELDAIG | Back to single track road, turn left, get back to Shieldaig and turn right.
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| 20 August 2007 | MARRIED MAN INTERVIEWER | For the life of me I could not remember this interview, then it just hit me, there and then.
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| 12 August 2007 | 1-1000000 FREAKY CHANCES | Of all the people to cross roads with, of all the people to pass, of all the chances in the world, and who do you pass?
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| 10 August 2007 | TRUE COLOURS SHINING THROUGH | I wish more women were as open as her, she showed her true colours right there and then, right in the first hour. What more can you ask for.
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| 06 August 2007 | GLEN NEVIS CIRCLE | I nearly cried, rock climbing, don't look down to high. For future reference, never bite of more than you can chew, but one must carry on. |
| 01 August 2007 | DOG BOWL SWAPPING | Found out the start of this year, that willow is allergic is the reason why Willow takes fits every few months.
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| 31 July 2007 | MISTY CARN MOR DEARG | It started off as a lovely day, all was well. Got round the corner of the Mountain, and what did I see. Surprise!!!........... |
| 26 July 2007 | CONTEMPORARY CAMERA ON STOB COIREA CHEARCAILL | Well, I finally bought a digital camera, it should take good pictures, so I was told. Brilliant, instruction before I go...what instruction!!........... |
| 09 July 2007 | CAPTAIN KISSO | I only forgot my wellies, poor guy who looked shocked, don't know why. |
| 04 July 2007 | STIRLING/GLASGOW/EDINBURGH | some signs are easily missed, but if heading north don't go south
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| 03 July 2007 | CORROUR STATION TO GLEN NEVIS | It took me 8 hours, and moss, willow and myself was shattered. The first few minutes started in disaster. |
| 02 July 2007 | GYM ON THE MUNRO | A better way in life to loose some weight
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| 01 July 2007 | OLD VILLAGE MORAL MORAN | Has some old biddies not got anything better to complain about, like your husband in a hotel room with his mistress. |
| 23 June 2007 | STRESSED RABBIT | left there to die in pain, nobody really cares, except for themselves, aren't humans so self absorbed. |
| 15 June 2007 | LIFE OF A STRUGGLING HILL | I decided to push on, and on, and struggling, sweating, headaches, but all I kept in my mind was.. |
| 15 June 2007 | AONACH MOR/BEAG 1221-1234 Mobile | It is a beautiful view, and there was no cheating, went up all on 2 feet and legs, good news mobile when I reached the top... |
| 10 June 2007 | A MOTHER ON THE LOOSE | Don't know who was more embarrassed me, or the young 21st boy. |
| 29 May 2007 | DUCK V DEMENTED DRIVER | I still can't stop crying, power is a dangerous position |
| 22 May 2007 | CARN MOR DEARG 1220 | I have tried this 3 times, whatever you do, don't look down on your left, I was starting to get goosebumps. |
| 20 May 2007 | MULLACH NAN COREAN | My first start of hillwalking was here, and it was cold when I reached the top, |
| 15 May 2007 | BEDROOM GONE BONKERS | Maybe there is an old wifes tale, of what side your bed has to be facing, I have never had so many nightmares in all my time. |
| 14 May 2007 | BIG COMPANY RIP OFF | Does big company's always try to rip the public off,
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| 10 May 2007 | WOMEN WIN THE WORLD RULING | I must be the only person in this world who has any thought for animals on the road. |
| 02 May 2007 | F****** HUMAN RIGHTS | Maybe it's about time us public went down there and done something about it, let's see which side is bigger, human right side or no human right side, for these twisted people. |
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