Well I never! I haven't been sailing for years, and last time I was, I felt a bit groggy, and then Moss lifted his leg on someone when leaving.
Got this phone call, firstly it was Oban, and then he asked to meet a boat in Lochaline. I was very surprised how friendly the people were in Lochaline. I thought as Fort William, it would be churchy, prudish, but they were so much more open minded, fun people. I had to go to a shop to buy some batteries, because I heard I was doing a show in the woods. EH!!!!! In the local shop the lady found the batteries which was needed, and played the tape recorded, the first song is always the stripper tune?. Whilst it was playing, this old lady, about in her 70's, very nice she was, walked through the door. The one behind the till made a comment, can't remember exact, but it was offering her to do the striptease. Good, trying to picture her doing the striptease, they all had good sense of humour.
I would advise all people to visit Lochaline on their holidays. So later on, this small boat, yellow called 'Puffin', arrived and I had to climb on. With 4 inch stiletto boots, short skirt, and 2 bags, with recorder, bit of a struggle. The driver took me to this island, I was fascinated with the boat, had this strange ball thing, with numbers on it in 10's, and Radio talking, but not the usual car radio, giving warnings about something.It went up, then down, then up, then down, then further up, then further down, then up, down, up, down, up? before everyone's imagination takes off, I am talking about the boat.
It is just as well, I emptied my stomach, and had nothing to eat in the morning. Half way through it stopped, and I did mention this to the guy who arranged, is this a plot which was arranged in the church seminar, plotting to throw me overboard, for I am a sinner.
We got to the other side and I had to walk off the boat on to the rocks. I am still embarrassed thinking about it. So in the middle of this land part, next to the water, next to the woods, I had to do a show. Half way through it started raining, thankfully not for long, only a quick shower. All of the men were very friendly, very bright and very intelligent guys. In fact there wasn't even one who was village idiot. In shows you always get one. Every one of them were good looking, one guy was lying on his back making sexual noises, something you would hear on a blue movie, doesn't do it for me, don't know about him. I was told to do the same, mmmh! You can stop right there!!! They all had a good sense of humour. It's not very often you get looks, brain and sense of humour all in the one. Not one guy caused any problems. They all chipped in for a laugh.
Next time, I will remember to take my wellies, might not have the same effect though. The guy who arranged the show had a worried look on his face for most of the time.
WONDER WHY!!!! OR WAS IT A SHOCKED LOOKED!!! |